that touch each other
rather than overlapping
confusion of space
that touch each other
rather than overlapping
confusion of space
My mother said the other day that what I want in love
Is something quite ridiculous and not in Heav’n above.
She said that if I list too much the things I want in him
Then fate will slap me in the face, and negate ev’ry dense whim.
I’d like him dark with big black eyes and tan that makes me swoon
And if he had thick eyelashes I’d want to see him soon.
He must be at least six feet tall with burly shoulders too
Be good with kids, not pick his nose, and flirty girls he rue.
His teeth are straight and white and bright as any star above
If all these things he has and more he’s sure to win my love.
But, says my sweet mother dear, fate is a mean old thing.
It’s sure to take all that I want and with a smile wring.
Forget the “dark,” he’ll be so light the sun won’t shine no more.
His light blue eyes and sandy hair will make my poor heart sore.
He’ll probably be a midget, maybe shorter than myself
And then Our child shall, in a word, be called by all an elf.
His shoulders won’t be much to see, his teeth look like a fence
The kind that lies around a home, it doesn’t make no sense.
He’ll hate all kids and make them cringe, he’ll flirt with all my friends
And even when he picks his nose our love will never end.
I might as well eat all I want so I can get real fat
Who needs a man? I have my cake, and one big hairy cat.
They were all
Calling to me.
The best kind of
I caved in.
The water was cold and thick.
I climbed up the slippery rock.
My friend promised to jump with me.
I looked over the edge;
The water beckoned me
And I wasn’t afraid anymore.
All my friends were there:
Some people more friends than others.
Some people had to have people go with them.
But I went alone.
Everyone told me not to look over the edge but
Looking made me want to jump even more.
I walked backwards
Then I flung myself off the cliff.
The feeling of falling
The water glittered
And for three thrilling seconds
I was master of my fate.
I didn’t need him to jump with me;
I didn’t need someone to convince me to jump.
Once I made up my mind, I did it
And nothing could stop me.
Halfway down I changed my mind
Wanted to come back up.
My stomach dropped
But I kept falling.
The water gulped me down.
Bubbles fluttered all around me.
I rose to the surface,
I’d done it all by myself.
I’d jumped off the cliff.
It’s like the sea missing the desert;
The moon kissing the sun;
The priest looking after the heathen.
It’s like my heart pumping ice;
trees shedding blood;
clouds dripping leaves.
Like snow in July;
Flowers in December;
Harvest in March.
It’s like black seeing color;
Guitars singing vision;
Mouths hearing sound.
Like life loving death;
Like water begging for fire;
Like You loving me.
You saw right! I’m working on a new book! The book was originally inspired by two words: futuristic Rapunzel. It came together so nicely and I’m pumped! The first draft is done, clocked in at a little under 40,000 words.
I had my sister and mom read it and take a survey and now I’m going to implement their feedback into the plot.
The last step is to add description, beef up the word count, iron out the plot, and make sure my characters are 100% loveable. Okay, that was like ninety steps but it’s one big step.
The main themes? Freedom and being brave. Because to be free, you have to be BRAVE. The title is The Memory Jumper. I like that title because it immediately gives you a reference point as to what we’ll be talking about.
But I’m also thinking I could call it “Blackbird” since that song by the Beetles is referenced throughout the book. That song, to me, is all about freedom so I thought it fitting to include it.
The hardest thing for me right now is that the book needs to have a really serious feel. However, I love funny books and my sarcasm/humor keeps leaking through. The main character ADELAIDE is supposed to be scared, quiet and depressed. So she shouldn’t be cracking jokes even though they’re so funny. So . . . I have to delete all of it. *cries quietly*
But don’t worry!! There will be time for me to write MORE BOOKS OF SASS. But for this one . . . Adelaide is gonna have to be my sobbing homegirl.
Well, I don’t want to drag on about my book because these types of books can get super boring. If you have any questions, comment below! And get excited!!! I know I am!
Madeline has never been outside. Never felt the salty, invigorating coolness of the ocean. Never tasted the crispness of the oncoming fall.
Never been to a high school. Never fallen in love.
Never had her heart broken.
But then a boy moves next door. And her life changes forever.
Three and a half stars. *throws confetti but with a sad smile*
There’s this girl and she’s like allergic to the air and grass and well everything, everything but then this dude moves in next door and he only ever wears black and he climbs around on trees and roofs and walls like he’s a monkey and he’s totally flirting with her and she’s like yes please and then they run off to Hawaii to snorkel with humuhumu-whatawhata-something-something fish and that was a bad idea.
Phonetic Scrabble (which is like the coolest idea ever)
Fun illustrations for the child within (like bundt cakes and time passing techniques and even little dictionary definitions and book reviews)
Almost dying (fun)
LOVING THE BOOKS yo
Being up-and-up on the latest YA hits (that was sarcasm, btw), I really wanted to check out Everything, Everything. I saw a trailer for the upcoming movie randomly pop up on my Facebook page and it looked fairly decent.
Plus, when I saw the cover, I was like YES I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.
Note: I think we have learned that Amanda only ever reads/chooses books because of their pretty covers. While this is not always true . . . I do tend to choose books based on the covers.
Entering the book, I was in love. Maddy was absolutely darling: she was sweet and super super smart. She also didn’t cuss, was HOMESCHOOLED and had a great relationship with her mother.
This had the makings of SUCH A GREAT BOOK.
Then comes Olly. Olly cusses quite a bit, which isn’t surprising because his dad is an idiot and cusses even more.
AS I WAS READING THIS BOOK, I was reading another book. It’s Christian nonfiction and one of the parts was about how touching people of the opposite gender is dangerous. Once you start, you can’t stop. I kid you not, I had both of the books open and as I was reading Everything, Everything, Maddy said:
I was like DUDE!! So true!
And we see a dangerous progression.
Maddy and Olly are okay with just pantomiming to each other through a window.
They want to meet each other. So Maddy gets her nurse to arrange a meeting. They aren’t allowed to touch each other.
A few weeks later they meet and and Olly grabs Maddy’s hand to help her with a handstand. Oops, accident . . . won’t happen again right? WRONG THIS IS YA FICTION.
A few weeks later . . . Olly sits really close to Maddy.
A few weeks later . . . Olly kisses Maddy.
And then they run away together and there’s only one bed and . . . yeah. Not good.
This was definitely a God-thing for me to read this book in conjunction with the nonfiction one. It just proved to me that, yes. There is no end to desire. And there isn’t supposed to be within the bounds of marriage! That’s what the world doesn’t understand.
This book was full of beautiful imagery, deep characters, and amazing musings on the universe, but I must part it with a gift of only three and a half stars because of the messages:
What I did like
What I didn’t like
A few months ago, I jumped off a cliff into a lake. Maddy’s experience was so much like mine I wanted to share it. Read the book for another even more beautiful passage about the feeling.
He nods. “I’ll go first. I won’t let you drown.” He jumps up and out and does a full somersault before arrowing into the water. A few seconds later he resurfaces and waves up to me. I wave back and then close my eyes to take stock of my situation, because jumping off a cliff seems like a pivotal moment when a little stock-taking should be done. Strangely, though, I felt like I don’t really want to think too much. Like Olly, I just want to jump. I teach out Olly’s face in the water and find him waiting for me. Considering what the future may hold, dumping off this cliff doesn’t seem so scary at all.
Everyone should have a word
That defines them.
Some are giving,
Some are good at everything;
Some are lucky,
Some not so much.
I want to be
To do the impossible,
To love impossible people,
To dream of impossible things.
It’s just me.
I like to reach for the stars
Just out of my reach,
Climb the tree that
Everyone knows is going to fall.
I just want to stand on top
Of the moon,
Smile when I reach the last branch of the tree
You thought I couldn’t?
But I did.
But deep down,
I’m scared of the impossible.
What if I fail?
What if I never feel the crisp air of outer space,
What if the branch cracks and falls
And those people were right?
But I have to remind myself–
I have those desires for a reason.
I live for the greatest purpose of all.
I’m in this position because
someone greater put me there
And I can’t fail.
By man’s standards, I may fall.
The laughter of my enemies
May throw salt on my wounds.
But I have to be BRAVE.
I can’t be afraid to FAIL.
I must lace up my combat boots,
Cock my gun,
And stare my goal straight in the eye.
And once I know what it is
I have to run continually and bravely,
Never losing focus or daring to even consider giving up.
Because that is who I am.
That is what I must do.
I am the girl who does the impossible.
I had a disease
I never even knew about it
It has been growing
Inside of me
I don’t know when it started
I don’t know when it will end
But i finally realized the other day
It’s a feeling that nothing will ever be right
Nothing will ever be okay
Because you lost something
(Maybe it wasn’t yours to lose in the first place)
A feeling of despair
You tell yourself what happened was just a dream
You can’t accept this reality
So you ascribe to it a different meaning
Even though it’s obvious
You keep trying so hard
To hold the door open
Even when everything else is yanking it closed
That is what I’ve been going through
That is the battle I’m fighting
That is what it’s like to be depressed
Things are a-changing;
It’s time to grow up . . .
But what if I don’t want to?
What if I’m not ready?
They’re pushing me out of the nest—
Forcing me to spread my wings—
I’m crying out, resisting,
And now I’m falling.
My life flashes before my eyes;
Because I haven’t lived long enough.
I stretch out my wings;
I wish I didn’t have to
But I do.
And before I know it,
I crash into a few branches,
Hit a few bugs,
But I’ve got the jist of it.
And I have a friend
Who will guide me along
With infallible directions.
So I’m okay–
It finally happened:
It was different than she thought it would be.
She had thought
It would be like
Uncontrollable bouts of crying;
Waves of restricted breathing;
A feeling of falling down an empty hole.
But it wasn’t.
It was more like
Even though it was
Plainer than day,
It was different than before.
She didn’t throw everything out
That reminded her of the person–
How could she destroy
The memory of the soul
Who changed her life?
On second thought,
I don’t think she broke.
I think . . .
I think a part of her died.