ALONE

They were all
Calling to me.
The best kind of
Peer pressure.
I caved in.
The water was cold and thick.
I climbed up the slippery rock.
My friend promised to jump with me.
I looked over the edge;
The water beckoned me
And I wasn’t afraid anymore.
All my friends were there:
Some people more friends than others.
Some people had to have people go with them.
But I went alone.
Everyone told me not to look over the edge but
Somehow
Looking made me want to jump even more.
I walked backwards
Everyone watching.
Then I flung myself off the cliff.
The feeling of falling
Is amazing.
The water glittered
And for three thrilling seconds
I was master of my fate.
I didn’t need him to jump with me;
I didn’t need someone to convince me to jump.
Once I made up my mind, I did it
And nothing could stop me.
Halfway down I changed my mind
Wanted to come back up.
My stomach dropped
But I kept falling.
The water gulped me down.
Bubbles fluttered all around me.
I rose to the surface,
Coughing,
But thrilled.
I’d done it all by myself.
I’d jumped off the cliff.
Alone.

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SIMILE

It’s like the sea missing the desert;
The moon kissing the sun;
The priest looking after the heathen.

It’s like my heart pumping ice;
trees shedding blood;
clouds dripping leaves.

Like snow in July;
Flowers in December;
Harvest in March.

It’s like black seeing color;
Guitars singing vision;
Mouths hearing sound.

Like life loving death;
Like water begging for fire;
Like You loving me.

i’m working on a new book?? WHAT???

You saw right! I’m working on a new book! The book was originally inspired by two words: futuristic Rapunzel. It came together so nicely and I’m pumped! The first draft is done, clocked in at a little under 40,000 words.

I had my sister and mom read it and take a survey and now I’m going to implement their feedback into the plot.

The last step is to add description, beef up the word count, iron out the plot, and make sure my characters are 100% loveableOkay, that was like ninety steps but it’s one big step.

The main themes? Freedom and being brave. Because to be free, you have to be BRAVE. The title is The Memory Jumper. I like that title because it immediately gives you a reference point as to what we’ll be talking about.

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But I’m also thinking I could call it “Blackbird” since that song by the Beetles is referenced throughout the book. That song, to me, is all about freedom so I thought it fitting to include it.

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The hardest thing for me right now is that the book needs to have a really serious feel. However, I love funny books and my sarcasm/humor keeps leaking through. The main character ADELAIDE is supposed to be scared, quiet and depressed. So she shouldn’t be cracking jokes even though they’re so funny. So . . . I have to delete all of it. *cries quietly*

But don’t worry!! There will be time for me to write MORE BOOKS OF SASS. But for this one . . . Adelaide is gonna have to be my sobbing homegirl.

Well, I don’t want to drag on about my book because these types of books can get super boring. If you have any questions, comment below! And get excited!!! I know I am!

 

Everything, Everything: Oceans, Solar Systems, Deep Thoughts about Life

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Madeline has never been outside. Never felt the salty, invigorating coolness of the ocean. Never tasted the crispness of the oncoming fall.

Never been to a high school. Never fallen in love.

Never had her heart broken.

But then a boy moves next door. And her life changes forever.

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My Rating

Three and a half stars. *throws confetti but with a sad smile*

An entertaining one sentence summary

There’s this girl and she’s like allergic to the air and grass and well everything, everything but then this dude moves in next door and he only ever wears black and he climbs around on trees and roofs and walls like he’s a monkey and he’s totally flirting with her and she’s like yes please and then they run off to Hawaii to snorkel with humuhumu-whatawhata-something-something fish and that was a bad idea.

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More Entertaining Short Summaries

Phonetic Scrabble (which is like the coolest idea ever)

Fun illustrations for the child within (like bundt cakes and time passing techniques and even little dictionary definitions and book reviews)

IM-ing

Hawaii

Outer space

ARCHITECTURE

OVERPROTECTIVE MOTHERS

Air locks

Almost dying (fun)

LOVING THE BOOKS yo

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Initial Thoughts

Being up-and-up on the latest YA hits (that was sarcasm, btw), I really wanted to check out Everything, Everything. I saw a trailer for the upcoming movie randomly pop up on my Facebook page and it looked fairly decent.

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Plus, when I saw the cover, I was like YES I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.

Note: I think we have learned that Amanda only ever reads/chooses books because of their pretty covers. While this is not always true . . . I do tend to choose books based on the covers.

Entering the book, I was in love. Maddy was absolutely darling: she was sweet and super super smart. She also didn’t cuss, was HOMESCHOOLED and had a great relationship with her mother.

This had the makings of SUCH A GREAT BOOK.

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Then comes Olly. Olly cusses quite a bit, which isn’t surprising because his dad is an idiot and cusses even more.

AS I WAS READING THIS BOOK, I was reading another book. It’s Christian nonfiction and one of the parts was about how touching people of the opposite gender is dangerous. Once you start, you can’t stop. I kid you not, I had both of the books open and as I was reading Everything, Everything, Maddy said:

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I was like DUDE!! So true!

And we see a dangerous progression.

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Maddy and Olly are okay with just pantomiming to each other through a window.

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They want to meet each other. So Maddy gets her nurse to arrange a meeting. They aren’t allowed to touch each other.

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A few weeks later they meet and and Olly grabs Maddy’s hand to help her with a handstand. Oops, accident . . . won’t happen again right? WRONG THIS IS YA FICTION.

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A few weeks later . . . Olly sits really close to Maddy.

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A few weeks later . . . Olly kisses Maddy.

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And then they run away together and there’s only one bed and . . . yeah. Not good.

This was definitely a God-thing for me to read this book in conjunction with the nonfiction one. It just proved to me that, yes. There is no end to desire. And there isn’t supposed to be within the bounds of marriage! That’s what the world doesn’t understand.

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This book was full of beautiful imagery, deep characters, and amazing musings on the universebut I must part it with a gift of only three and a half stars because of the messages:

  • Follow your heart (as usual)
  • Teens drifting away from their parents is normal
  • All love relationships end in intimacy meant for marriage
  • It’s okay to do something that could possibly kill you if you’re going to be happy
  • Love relationships make you crazy and that’s okay; you’ll be obsessed, out of whack, but that’s normal and just go with it. Make that person YOUR ALL in life and don’t look back.

SO . . .

What I did like

  • THE HAWAII
  • Phonetic Scrabble (becuz y not)
  • Maddy and Olly’s conversations (they reminded me of convos I’ve had)
  • Maddy’s wanting to REALLY LIVE
  • Her obsession with books

What I didn’t like

  • Maddy comes to the conclusion that teens are supposed to fall in love and not like their parents anymore. Their love affairs replace their bond to their parents. SO SAD!!
  • There was a gay dude (they always have to throw those in there)
  • The PG-13 scene (I’d say it’s more like M or R; regardless, I skipped it)
  • The climax was kind of like WHOA WHOA WHOA waht

More fave quotable quotes

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A few months ago, I jumped off a cliff into a lake. Maddy’s experience was so much like mine I wanted to share it. Read the book for another even more beautiful passage about the feeling.

He nods. “I’ll go first. I won’t let you drown.” He jumps up and out and does a full somersault before arrowing into the water. A few seconds later he resurfaces and waves up to me. I wave back and then close my eyes to take stock of my situation, because jumping off a cliff seems like a pivotal moment when a little stock-taking should be done. Strangely, though, I felt like I don’t really want to think too much. Like Olly, I just want to jump. I teach out Olly’s face in the water and find him waiting for me. Considering what the future may hold, dumping off this cliff doesn’t seem so scary at all.

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Have you read this book? Will you watch the movie?

IMPOSSIBLE

Everyone should have a word
That defines them.
Some are giving,
Some are good at everything;
Some are lucky,
Some not so much.
Me?
I want to be
impossible.
To do the impossible,
To love impossible people,
To dream of impossible things.
It’s just me.
I like to reach for the stars
Just out of my reach,
Climb the tree that
Everyone knows is going to fall.
I just want to stand on top
Of the moon,
Smile when I reach the last branch of the tree
And say
Haha–
You thought I couldn’t?
But I did.
But deep down,
I’m terrified.
I’m scared of the impossible.
What if I fail?
What if I never feel the crisp air of outer space,
What if the branch cracks and falls
And those people were right?
I CAN’T.
But I have to remind myself–
I have those desires for a reason.
I live for the greatest purpose of all.
I’m in this position because
someone greater put me there
And I can’t fail.
It’s impossible.
By man’s standards, I may fall.
The laughter of my enemies
May throw salt on my wounds.
But I have to be BRAVE.
I can’t be afraid to FAIL.
I must lace up my combat boots,
Cock my gun,
And stare my goal straight in the eye.
And once I know what it is
I have to run continually and bravely,
Never losing focus or daring to even consider giving up.
Because that is who I am.
That is what I must do.
I am the girl who does the impossible.

Amanda

DISEASED

I had a disease
I never even knew about it
It has been growing
Inside of me
For years
I don’t know when it started
I don’t know when it will end
But i finally realized the other day
It’s a feeling that nothing will ever be right
Nothing will ever be okay
Because you lost something
(Maybe it wasn’t yours to lose in the first place)
A feeling of despair
So strong
You tell yourself what happened was just a dream
You can’t accept this reality
So you ascribe to it a different meaning
Even though it’s obvious
You keep trying so hard
To hold the door open
Even when everything else is yanking it closed
That is what I’ve been going through
That is the battle I’m fighting
That is what it’s like to be depressed

Amanda

OKAY

Things are a-changing;
It’s time to grow up . . .
But what if I don’t want to?
What if I’m not ready?
They’re pushing me out of the nest
Forcing me to spread my wings
I’m crying out, resisting,
And now I’m falling.
My life flashes before my eyes;
It’s short
Because I haven’t lived long enough.
I stretch out my wings;
It stings,
It hurts.
I wish I didn’t have to
But I do.
And before I know it,
I’m flying.
I crash into a few branches,
Hit a few bugs,
But I’ve got the jist of it.
And I have a friend
Who will guide me along
With infallible directions.

So I’m okay–
I’m okay.

BROKE

It finally happened:
She broke.
It was different than she thought it would be.
She had thought
It would be like
Uncontrollable bouts of crying;
Waves of restricted breathing;
A feeling of falling down an empty hole.

But it wasn’t.
It was more like
Denial.
Even though it was
Plainer than day,
It was different than before.
She didn’t throw everything out
That reminded her of the person–
She couldn’t.
How could she destroy
The memory of the soul
Who changed her life?

No.
On second thought,
I don’t think she broke.
I think . . .
I think a part of her died.

DREAMING

I can’t go to sleep,
I won’t sleep a wink,
My mind is all tangled in you.
My mind is abuzz–
All day I was
Basking in your silver stars.
I must get a grip on my future;
Cuz you’re not a part, I am sure.
How could you be, I’m asking me,
When I’m such a dull lonesome bore
But
I’m dreaming tonight
So for once
All is right
And you are finally mine.
When your face is glowing
I know I am showing
My real self and you approve.
I feel like I’m real when I’m ’round you;
That’s not part of dreaming, I know;
Just hold out your hand
And I’ll understand
It’s me you’ve been waiting for.

I’m getting a grip
I let myself slip
When I fell in love with you.
I was doing so well
But then I fell
And everything else tumbled through.
I have to let go, yes I know it;
It’s madness to go on this way.
I just have to hold on ’til
I’m back in God’s will
And maybe the dreams go away.
But
I’m dreaming right now
And everything’s great;
I tingle when you look my way.
I finally know
That these things you show
Are really ‘cuz you feel the same.
I may be misjudging your actions;
I might be avoiding the truth;
But right now I’m sleeping
And not truly weeping
So I’ll keep on going
‘Til morning is showing
And I’ll keep on dying
Cuz I won’t keep trying
And dreams go away
But there still there this day
How long until
Dreams become
Reality?

The Girl From Everywhere: Sassy Thieves & Time Traveling Pirates YASSSSS

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Nix’s father is a Navigator. That means that he, using real maps (the ones actually hand-drawn by cartographers) can TRAVEL THROUGH TIME. He can even travel to fantasy lands, if he so desires.

But he doesn’t.

The only thing he really wants is to go back to 1868 and find Nix’s mother. Even if going back could erase Nix’s existence . . .


My Rating

Three and a half stars.

An Entertaining One Sentence Summary

Nix’s dad is completely, brutally obsessed with going back in time and finding Nix’s mother even if that means plundering the Hawaiian Treasury with an army of Sima Qian’s terra cotta warriors come back to life and hey who cares his daughter might be obliterated in the fantastical impossibility of two of yourselves existing in one reality (whaaaaat) he gonna do it anyway.

*Go daddy, go daddy*

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The art of this amazing Deviant artist book fan fiend

More Entertaining Short Summaries

TIME-TRAVELING PIRATES.

Cute Persian dude who steals stuff for Nix.

Hawaiian folklore.

Moneyyyyyyy.

Pretty ships.

Magical birds that heal diseases.

A bag that never gets full (this would be helpful for my schoolbooks yes yes).

A cute little dragon named Swag (so whenever I read about him I just imagined the red dragon from Mulan because he so #swag).

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Initial thoughts

I walked into the library.

I wanted something pretty.

I saw this prettiness.

And I picked it up.

#Goalz

I am notorious for passionately hating the world of YA. AND YET I READ YA ANYWAY. Yes, I am a pathetic mushroom of indiscretion. But this book?? Wow. The language was so colorful, so deep. Nix made tons of references to mythology and other high-intellect things (instead of being typical fluffy YA in which you don’t have to consider ANY sentences whatsoever).

However . . .

This book was EXTREMELY CONFUSING.

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I still don’t even know what exactly happened (that may be because I crammed reading this thick novel into three days’ time and I was racing with myself to see how fast I could read it AND Spring Break is almost over HELLLLLP). Heilig often used too much explanation that didn’t actually explain anything so I was just sitting there, rereading a chunk of text that was absolutely critical to understanding how Navigating works.

So I gave up.

Maybe I’m just lazy.

I don’t understand what happened to Nix’s mom; who the heck Joss was; Bee’s background; and who in the world was Rotgut? Not much character development beyond Nix, Kashmir, Slate, and then the dashingly handsome Blake (because it’s YA . . . gotta throw in a handsome duuuuuuddddeeee)

BUT.

Time travel is an incredibly mind-boggling genre to write and I applaud Heidi for her beautiful take on it. The book truly was enjoyable, even if it did have a few objectionable elements that just seemed to be THROWN IN (more on that in a moment).

So . . .

What I did like

  • The actual intelligence of this book.
  • The beautiful descriptions of Hawaii (book me a flight rn k thanks)
  • PIRATESSSSSS
  • Kasmir 😉
  • The magical warrior dudes that left people trembling in fear

What I didn’t like

  • The time travel wasn’t explained very well. STILL confused about important details.
  • Okay so they were all making a big deal about how long it would take to rob the Hawaaiin treasury and make a map to get back to 1868 Hawaii but then it took Nix and her crew like a few weeks to get the plan for Hawaii destruction written and then Blake is like oh dude I can draw give me a few days and you’ll be on your way.
  • Like what.
  • What happened here.
  • I think Heidi got tired of writing (which I kinda don’t blame her IT’S EXHAUSTING)
  • There were some objectionable elements. Thrown in. For no reason. Why. Plus some cussing. And Bee had a wife?? And she was a girl?? And she used to be in a tribe and she bought her wife for cattle? #BackstoryConfusion

Quotable Quotes

In every myth, paradise was meant to be lost.

Jealousy is simply the fear of being abandoned.

Have you read this book? Do you LOOOOOVE the time traveling? The pirates? The sassy, attractive Persian thieves???