PROMISE

i’m on a precipice

like an eagle with a broken wing

i overlook an empty nothingness

i can hardly see through

all the clouds

it’s like trying to

wrangle heaven

i think i hear you

think you told me to jump

but i can’t remember

everything is so

unsure

uncertain

did i really trust you

in another life

did i jump

did you catch me

or did i fall

nothing breathes

nothing shifts

i feel all alone

then something nudges me

it whispers

it touches my hair

i look around but

there’s nothing there

i ignore it

but it comes again

it urges me to jump

to trust

to take a dare

to live

to give you a chance

the memory becomes a little clearer

but you are so muddled

i don’t know what you’re telling me

or if you’re even telling me anything at all

the nudge comes again

and you know what

i’m gonna do what i’ve always done

you love me for who i am

i feel a tug still

it tells me i’m going to fall

it’s imminent

will i crash or burn

that’s the real question

are you down there

in sickness and in health

remember

so

i jump blindly

the sun hugs me

the earth cries with joy

the fog parts

i can finally see

bright rings of memories come back

like all the constellations

we only think exist

and i remember

there was white

and lace

and church pews

and stained glass

and

you

who were so proud of me

so proud of us

long ago

before we were in the white

and lace

and church pews

and stained glass

you told me to jump

in that other place

that other time

you promised you’d catch me

said you wouldn’t drop me

vowed you’d never let me go

you make good on promises

Amanda